~When it rains, there is a dry patch where i have walked.
~The Earth does’nt orbit around the sun, the sun orbits me.
~Shakespeare is my pet name.
~I have seen Every movie ever made. My favorite is land before time.
~If u google “ME GETTIN KICKED”..u wil get null results bcoz it jus doesnt happen.
~I can slam a revolving door.
~It takes ME 20 minutes to watch the show ’60 MINUTES’.
~My home has no doors..only walls thru which i walk.
~I once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills..nd this made me just blink.
~My every step creates a mini whirlwind..’tsunami’ was the result of a morning jog.
~Whn thrz a will thrz a way..but wen thrz me thrz no other way.
~I sleep with a night light, not because i am afraid of the dark, the dark is affrid of me.
~There is no proof of evolution, just a list of creatures i have alowed to live.
~My day is 25 hours long. I use the extra hour for Orkuting.
~Sun rises from the east because at that time i am sleeping facing west.
~Space is expanding in a worthless attempt to escape me.
~I never have to do laundry. The dirt jumps off of my clothing because i tell it to.
~I never have to iron my clothes, i just threaten them stiff.
~I invented water just so i could walk on it.
~Osama bin laden was never hiding from the United States, he was hiding from me.
~I am the world’s largest Prime Number.
~I have counted upto infinity..twice.
~I painted the Mona Lisa by looking at a torn piece of paper.
~Wen I do a push up i ain’t lifting myself up but i am pushing the earth down.
~I am so fast tht i can run around the world nd punch myself on the back.
~I gave Monalisa tht smile.
~I dont wear a watch..rather..i decide what time it is.